How To Try Anal Sex - Top Tips For Starting Out
Updated: Feb 3
The anus shares many of the same stimulatory nerve endings as the walls of your vagina so when done correctly many women find it extremely pleasurable and a good alternative to vaginal sex when the mood offers.
So you want to give anal a go or perhaps your partner quite likes the thought of it but you're apprehensive about many aspects of it. Perhaps you tried it before and didn't have a great experience but are still intrigued about giving it another go. Or maybe you're just curious about it.
Thoughts of hygiene, safety and possible concerns around pain all rear their head when anal is mentioned but wouldn't it be great to have another way to mix it up in the bedroom ? Something a bit different which has it's own turn-on value and sexy sensations to go with it.
Well here's some top advice from P&Ps resident sex therapist on making anal fun and part of your healthy sexual wellbeing.
Be Anal in communication
Get on the same page as your parter in what you both want. Set some expectations with each other in terms of speed, depth and so on. You may find the talk of anal play starts to set arousal levels going a bit but importantly it allows you both a clear expectation of what's happening.
Shower up before anal play
Much of the anxiety around anal stems from two things, pain and cleanliness. Quickly take care of the latter with a good bath of shower. You'll feel fresher, more relaxed and more confident for some fun.
Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay
The biggest mistake most people make is rushing in. Start with arousal, talk, chat, wine, touch, feel, and gradually build on the foreplay. Vaginal play, body play and finger play around the anal area is an excellent way to get a feel for it and also build arousal levels further. It'll all help to allow your body to relax. So play and explore each other,
The Anus doesn't produce it's own lubricant unlike the Vagina. So lube up with a good quality lube and you'll find your experience much more enjoyable and pleasurable. Reapply often
Positioning for Anal
Positioning is key to making this successful.
Side spoon position is intimate and allows both of you control over speed and depth.
Doggy-style allows easy entry, has visual arousal appeal for your partner but places a lot of control in your partners ability to listen to your instructions so isn't always the best option for first go.
You on top allows you maximum control but can more challenging for easy insertion.
As always it'll depend on your setup and relationship/comfortability levels so choose the one that works for you.
Speed is a factor
Is key and slow is the name of the game. It'll allow your anus time to adjust, allow you some time to adjust to the feeling and will help ease entry and build arousal.
Relaxation with anal is ultimately key
If you're keen on making it work but it didn't this time don't let it put you off. The first stage of attempting it and getting an initial feel for it can actually be a really big step in successful anal. So be patient and give it time but importantly don't stress.
Perhaps it's not for you, and that's okay because not all things work for all people, be comfortable with yourself for that. For others trying and becoming accustomed to it, anal sex is a rewarding and exhilarating part of sexual play.
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